These Are The People In Your Neighborhood...

As I've mentioned plenty of times, I take the mutt out to dog parks quite often to run him ragged so he basically collapses when we get home. The city just reopened the dog park that's nearest to us, so I decided to check it out the other day. It was an interesting experience.

When we first get there, I'm letting Dak just cruise around and check out the park and the other dogs. Suddenly, from across the park, this...well, fat person comes wobbling over. I say person, because even at this point I can't figure out if they were male or female they were so androgynous. On top of this, the person seemed to be vaguely (or maybe not so vaguely) retarded. The overly loud and slurred voice, the unbridled happiness, etc. Yes, all your stereotypical window-licker mentally retarded behavior in one package. That's not what was so notable. It was the fact this person had the worst.teeth.ever. The kind of bad dental work (and the accompanying breath to go with it) that literally makes you cringe. I couldn't help myself. It was kind of uplifting to see someone so excited and happy by just being around some dogs though.

After a while, I'm sitting down on one of the benches, and a lady follows over her dogs that Dak has been playing with. She grabs a seat and the usual dog park chat starts. "Hey pretty dog(s)." "How old is he?" Etc. We're talking about Dak, and how he looks like a lab, but is small for his age. Now keep in mind, I'm not a leading expert when it comes to dog breeds, but this was one of the stupider questions I've ever heard re: dogs. "Is he a Mini-Lab or something?"

Cut to me almost blowing the water I'd been drinking out of my nose. "Ummm...no. He's a mutt, probably mixed with a Spaniel or something." I guess my tone in the response was rather sarcastic since she walked away .185 seconds later with a quick, "OK, bye."

So while I've met and judged people as "Those retards at the dog park," I'm probably "That asshole at the dog park." Strangely, I'm OK with that.